


Clair de Lune

by lala_pipo



Category: SHINee
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-06
Updated: 2018-03-06
Packaged: 2019-03-27 22:59:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13890945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lala_pipo/pseuds/lala_pipo
Summary: Originally posted on LiveJournal (2010-11-11).





	Clair de Lune

 

[ Clair de Lune - Debussy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvFH_6DNRCY)

 

"Kibum, have you ever been in love?"

The fresh breeze of the night tickled Taemin’s skin and he shuddered as coldness crept up his neck. Autumn leaves rustled on the ground, dancing in the pale light of the full moon like pairs of lovers. He pulled his legs up to his chest, hugging them with trembling fingers, glancing up at the moon, round and full as it hung up high in the sky, brightening the dark park with its beauty.

"I don’t know."

There was a barely visible shrug and Taemin tilted his head, glancing at the boy sitting next to him on the old, weathered park bench.

"You don’t know?" Taemin asked; voice hoarse and husky from the cold. He buried his red, stuffy nose into the soft wool of his red scarf, breathing in the damp air.

"No, I don’t know. What is love?" Kibum turned his head; brown, warm eyes hidden behind black-framed glasses, chapped, dry lips covered by a black, red striped scarf.

What is love?

Taemin frowned, pulling his lips into a little pout. He rested his chin on his knees, absentmindedly watching the leaves dance. He should have been home by now since his classes at private school had ended already three hours ago, but he sat there in the dark instead, talking to his friend. Taemin wasn’t even sure if Kibum was a friend. It seemed like he barely knew him.

One day in summer he had seen him in this park on his way back home from school, bending over a flower with a reflex camera in his hands. Taemin had been too curious to walk away so he had approached him. That’s how they had met.  
Taemin didn’t know where Kibum lived nor how old he was, he already considered himself lucky enough to know his name at least. It had taken him two months to find it out. They never arranged a day or a time to meet up, they just happened to settle down on the same bench, at the same hour…every day.

Coincidence?

"I don’t know what love is. A good feeling I guess," Taemin sighed, shivering from the cold. He heard a low snort and turned his head around again, eyes wandering over the figure next to him. Kibum was an odd guy, always wearing two different colored shoes and talking about people like they didn’t mean anything to him. Sometimes Taemin didn’t know why he kept coming back to the old park bench and sat down next to someone who had such a pessimistic outlook on life.

Maybe it was fascination?

Taemin had never met a person like Kibum. All people he knew were friendly and polite on the surface but talked behind each other’s back as soon as they had the chance to do so. Kibum was different and always expressed his feelings when he didn’t agree to something. He was blunt and straightforward, and Taemin really liked that.

"A good feeling? How does this definition work with all the sad love songs out there? Do you think people write them because love is a good feeling?"

Taemin bit his lip, eyes scanning the other’s features. Kibum had a pretty face, a face that didn’t fit his attitude at all. He was a contradiction. Someone you couldn’t describe with simple words. Someone you had to witness yourself to understand Taemin’s interest in him.

"Well, I think there isn’t just one definition of love. The word is too big for just one definition. Everyone needs to find out for themselves, I guess," Taemin gestured hesitantly, swaying his icy fingers in the air.

"If one definition won’t do the word love justice then how should I tell you if I have ever experienced it?"

Taemin stayed silent for a while, studying the grass stalks moving in the breeze. The cold whipped his cheeks and he trembled, teeth chattering. Kibum’s words always made him think. He didn’t talk much, but if he did his words had a certain depth, rare for a boy who didn’t look much older than Taemin himself.

"Feelings are always hard to define, aren’t they? Everyone experiences them differently. I guess it’s the same with love," Taemin assumed quietly, rubbing his running nose with the palm of his hand.

"Have you ever been in love then?"

Taemin lowered his head and he stared blankly at the path in front of him.

"I’m not sure. Maybe," Taemin said, his voice almost a whisper.

"So you’re not sure yourself. Why?"

"Maybe I’m just too afraid to admit that I’m in love because I’m scared that my love won’t be returned and I'll get hurt. I don’t know." Taemin hugged his legs tighter, a sigh leaving his lips. He looked up again when Kibum stood up from the bench, stretching his limbs, his breath forming little white clouds in the cold air.

"Let’s walk a bit. It’s too cold to sit around."

Taemin nodded, his legs hurting already as he got up and checked his watch. It was past 11 PM. The sad thing was that he knew that no one would miss him at home, so he followed Kibum with fast steps, hands buried in the pockets of his jacket.

"What do you think about love at first sight, Taemin? Do you think it exists or do you think it’s just some weird body reaction, a myth some crazy scientist invented because they couldn’t define love?"

Taemin walked close to Kibum’s side, shoulders and arms brushing from time to time. The park was completely silent except for the wind that funneled down the branches of the trees.

"I don’t believe in it. I believe in attraction at first sight, but you can’t fall in love with someone you don’t know, can you?"

"But when we don’t even know what 'falling in love' is supposed to mean how can we say that it’s attraction we feel towards someone and not love?"

"So you believe in it?" Taemin cocked his head, eyes widening in surprise.

"I don’t really believe in anything but myself, Taemin. What about significant others? Do you believe in those?"

"You mean a soulmate?"

"Call it whatever you feel like."

Taemin nodded, burying his nose just a little deeper into his scarf, eyes glancing over at the slightly taller one. He hesitated for a second before he simply said:

"I do."

Taemin saw a tiny smile twitching at the corners of Kibum’s lips. Kibum never smiled, at least not in his presence. Even though it was just the umbrage of a smile it was infecting and Taemin grinned into his scarf, cheeks warming up a bit.

"And did you find yours already?"

Taemin felt the other looking at him but he didn’t look back, keeping his eyes on the dimly lit path.

"Maybe."

He then looked up, glancing over at the other who still stared at him, the expression on Kibum’s face hardly recognizable in the darkness.

"Give me your hand."

"Huh?" Taemin raised an eyebrow warily, noticing Kibum’s hand reaching out in his direction. He eyed the fingers suspiciously for a second, not really understanding what the other was up to, but he took them anyway, his hand twitching and his breath hitching at the very first real skin contact he had ever shared with Kibum.

"What do you feel right now?"

"Honest answer?"

"Honest answer." Taemin felt his hand being pulled closer to Kibum and then it disappeared into the pocket of the other’s coat, being welcomed by a sudden source of warmth.

"My stomach tingles and – I feel warm," he confessed truthfully, nibbling on his bottom lip. He wasn’t really sure what Kibum was up to, but he didn’t mind the closeness. He felt safe and secure. Kibum’s hand embracing his almost felt like coming home.

"That’s good."

They continued to walk in silence, Taemin’s left hand securely placed in Kibum’s. The leaves rustled under their sneakers and Taemin thought that the world had become just that little warmer.

"Kibum, I might have found the answer to your question – at least I found mine," Taemin said after a while, cheeks, and nose rosy from the cold. "I think being in love feels like home. You feel sheltered and save. It makes everything look just that little brighter."

"That sounds nice and desirable."

"It does, doesn’t it?"

Taemin smiled pensively, giving the hand holding his so firmly a little squeeze.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on LiveJournal (2010-11-11).


End file.
